Special Needs Kids, Mama's, and cars...

Our toddler son was wiggly in church.  You're probably gonna say "oh kids are kids"...  But when I say wiggly, I don't just mean distracted-bored-needs a coloring book and a quiet snack...I mean noisy.  Little metal cars and trucks were the only remedy for peace, and they were...noisy!  Cut to a few years later, after literally "practicing church" at home, and kid-level "working on" self-control and patience, and one day he got through 3/4's of Mass like a perfect gentleman.  It had taken months to "wean" him off of "needing" cars at church.  My husband and I were giving each other high five glances...  Was it possible?  We had arrived at the top of Behavior Hill - Yes! 

Then from the depths of hell came the old lady behind us.  She actually tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Your son has been so wonderful during Mass, this is for him" - and she pulled a tiny. metal. car. from the pocket of her sweater.  Our son's eyes lit up and then there he was - vroom vrooming. I probably needed to go to Confession for the daggers I shot that sweet old lady, and the miserable things I was calling her in my mind.  She smiled, "I keep little toys in my pocket for rewarding little kids being so good at church."  

That boy is almost 20 now - and I wish I could thank that sweet woman for that humbling moment.  To all Mama's with wiggly kids - courage!  They'll either outgrow it, or there will come a moment when you realize, if your parish isn't 'cryin it's dyin'.  Impatient grown-ups won't live forever--and the next generation needs space to grow.   Noisy kids are a blessing to the Lord too.  They teach us patience, understanding, humility, courage, love, kindness, gentleness...oh wait, those are on my fridge - the exact virtues I teach the kids to pray to the Holy Spirit for...

I highly recommend the "practice social moments at home" technique.  Not only is it fun (cut a hole in a fancy towel for a chasuble, and take turns being the priest...later the same towel makes you the crossing guard at school...), but the cognitive and experienced visuals really stick in kids' heads.  Our son from the story above is not "special needs," but I have seen it work time and again with our children, and close to 20 years of working with all children, including those with special challenges.  Oh, and for church:  grapes and raisins, each cut in half so they don't roll when they hit the floor, with fresh fig-Newtons (very few crumbs) cut into tiny squares, in a silent silicone box.  What success snacks are in your church bag? 

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